Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize