i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
