I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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