Me too!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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