I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
