Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
