i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
