Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
