question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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