I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
