I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need to sanitize my soul.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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