I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
