i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
