I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
