Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize