you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
