I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
