I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
His hands were made for my vagina.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize