There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
