Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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