Porn is love you can see.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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