there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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