Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
