I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
