walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize