I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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