I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I stole a fireplace last night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need to sanitize my soul.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
