stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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