you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
