If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
