I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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