how can u be prego again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
