I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize