are you still at the devil's house?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
