Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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