I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
