He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
