why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
