She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
