is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
