i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't turn off my feet"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize