Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
