i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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