quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
COCAINE IS GR8
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
