so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
