so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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