bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
