their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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