You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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