Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
