we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
