i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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