it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
