Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
