My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize