She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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