What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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