So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
