I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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