O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
