I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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