I CAN MOONWALK!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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