I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
