I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
