At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize