I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
