So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
