i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
