i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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