I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
