It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
