Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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