Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
