Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
