haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You ruined the universe
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
