Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize