she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So many bounce houses so little time
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Come share oat with me in your robe
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
