Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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