my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
