She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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