I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize