She announced her abortion via fbk
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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