Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
