I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
