This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
